The Schlocky Horror Picture Show 4

Beast From Haunted Cave (1959) (2008)

This week I present for your enlightenment a message film from the Corman Brothers, with the grammatically challenging title of Beast From Haunted Cave. Made in 1959, its message is Crime Does Not Pay. Not the most original of messages and one that, in our bizarre, through-the-looking-glass world, is not easy to take seriously. In films at least, thieves planning robberies usually fail to take something important into account. This time they have neglected to consider the possibility of being hunted down by a large camera-shy monster. How careless! Like all vigilantes, Beast's sense of right and wrong is not as well-developed as it ought to be, and like all vigilantes, causes much collateral damage.

Bluebeard (1944) (2008)

This week's offering from the wild and crazy world of low-budget, past-their-commercial-use-by-date horror films, is Bluebeard, made in 1944 by people with talent. Indeed, there's not much wrong with this variation on the old legend of Bluebeard, the serial killer of his own wives, that a decent budget couldn't have fixed. It has a skilled director already experienced in doing good work on modest budgets, and the lead is an actor of considerable ability, well known to devotees of cheap horror and science-fiction films. He has played a Mad Scientist and Mad Doctor, and this time he's a Mad Artist.

The Bat (1959) (2008)

When I inform you I'm screening an Old Dark House film for you tonight, you know what to expect. Concealed doors, secret passages, people abducted in the few seconds when no-one is looking, dead bodies behind secret doors, servants who may or may not be malevolent and a scoundrel at large, moving freely about the house. Tonight's film doesn't miss a single cliche, despite the fact it isn't THE Old Dark House film, but AN Old Dark House film. This one is called The Bat, was made in 1959 and stars Agnes Moorehead and Vincent Price.

White Zombie (1932) (2008)

It is my great pleasure to screen for you the eerie horror film White Zombie, made in 1932 and starring our favourite Hungarian ham, Bela Lugosi. This film is better than most of the titles to be found in the Public Domain and I'm confident you'll feel watching White Zombie was time well spent. But I must hasten to point out, these zombies are not the flesh-eating variety.

Bloody Pit Of Horror (1965) (2009)

"My Vengeance Needs Blood!" You know you're in for a special treat when a movie starts with a quote from the Marquis De Sade. Bloody Pit Of Horror begins with a flashback of a red-hooded criminal being strapped into one of his own iron maidens, or rather a cardboard maiden which looks like it was constructed for a school play. Then his body and soul are locked up inside a coffin-shaped painted plywood prop, complete with a really cool wax seal. What I love about these wax seals is that they last for hundreds of years, but instantly fall apart as soon as some clumsy photographer brushes against it.